Babbysitter needed

I am looking for a wonderful person to help out our family. There are actually two types of “help” that I am seeking, and maybe both types are of interest to you and maybe just the one.If you’re interested, please e-mail. Let me know if you’re applying for the first position, the second, or both. Please tell me a little bit about yourself and your experience with kids. Thanks in advance for taking the time to respond to the post.

So, if you’re like me, when you read this, the first thing that comes to your mind is, “How is babby formed?”. But the second thing that comes to mind is, “I wonder what the second kind of “help” is and why it requires quotation marks?” And then your brain goes here, and here, and then you have to go take a long, hot shower.

And then, there’s this:

Need to find a ‘dishonest’ person

I need a dishonest person to help me pull off something. There is nothing illegal about what I’m doing, but it requires some strong will and a strong face.
E-mail me ([emaildeleted]) or AIM me (s/n [deleted]) for more details.

Squee actually took one for the team and emailed this person to find out what was going on. Sadly, there was no reply, so we will never know what the something was. The mind boggles.